overflowing…

Life is always uncertain… Cliche much? Yet it’s always been true. You may be busy in school, or moping around because of a heartbreak, complaining how hard life is for you, wallowing in sadness and feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, or you may be having a good time with friends, or foolishly inlove with someone, or just having no care in the world at all. And out there, in other corners of the earth somebody is dying, or somebody has died and a family is mourning… What then? Should you sympathize with them? Should your life stop going on? Should you stop merry-making? No. I’m not saying that what was forementioned is wrong. It’s your life, you do what you want to do with it. Right? Quoting from a book in the Bible. “Be cheerful and enjoy life while you are young! Do what you want and find pleasure in what you see. But don’t forget God will judge you for everything you do.” Ecclesiastes 11:9

Last Saturday my uncle, a brother of my father passed away. Among 8 siblings, he’s the youngest. He had no family of his own; a bachelor. He lives in the old house where my father and all their other siblings grew up. Everytime I go there for a vacation, me, along with my other cousins would spend the nights there in the old house with our uncle. I remember that he would set up the banig for us to sleep on, then help us where to tie the mosquito net. And sometimes, scare us with stories of the ghost of Lolo and Lola. But, it was altogether fun. I could see that my uncle was really happy to see us having fun there in the old house, even if the place looked so dark and forlorn.

Now, as i look back on those times I can’t help but cry and grip my heart. Losing someone so dear to me was excruciating. All the more when I found outabout how he died and how alone and helpless he might have felt when he was attacked by stroke in his room and the people just found out about it after 3 days. He was brought to the hospital, but died after a few days… I wish I was there… I wish I was beside him. I wish that somehow in his last breath he would remember that we really love him, that I really love him even if distance separated us. But it’s too late. He’s gone now… And all I could do is cry for each time I remember him. Feeling helpless, because I’m far from where my family is right now.. I’m somehow hoping that just this time, I can be with them, and my uncle…

I do not ask that you sympathize with me.. all I’m sating is take every opportunity to show your love for your family. We may say that, “nah, they’re always there”. NO. Life is unpredictable. They may be gone before you know it. And you wish that you could’ve done more to show how much you care for them and how much you love them. Losing someone hurts a lot.. and it hurts more when you know that you still coud have done something for that person, yet was unable to… Regrets and Pain. Things that I couldn’t get rid off in my life. But I don’t blame God nor anyone for that. I guess it’s essential for us Human Beings… What is it like to be human? To experience joy, sadness, suffering, fulfillment, and most of all, love. Do not deprive the people around you of your love. Show it to them, better yet, tell them sincerely that you love them. It’s not just romantic love…because that is just skin-deep from the love that I speak of… The love of God that is manifested in our lives.. When we open ourselves to God, we’re not the only recipients of His love, but we also allow Him to love others through us. This is not talk of religion, but of God and His love sacrifice, Jesus. The Way the Truth and the Life. You think you’ve sacrificed a lot for someone lately? Think again. “There’s no greater love than this than a man who would give his life for a friend.” John 15:3

Our love for our family and the people around us is nothing compared to Jesus’ love for them. If you love them so much then allow them to meet Jesus Christ. The perfector of our love. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about here, then better pick-up the Bible and start reading. If you still can’t, ask people to help you. But most of all, open your heart and mind to God and ask Him to bless you with understanding of His Word, so that you can experience more of His love for you, and me.

I’m sorry if I may have sounded so preachy… but what I speak is the Truth. If you feel empty, or something is missing in your life, or if all else failed… then, try Jesus. He might be the one who can only fill up that hole in your heart and life. Believe and have faith. I don’t speak as as a holy person. I’m just like you, a sinner. yet I believe Jesus Christ loves me so much that He died on the cross as an atonement for my sins, (and yours as well) and that He is able to forgive me… only if I ask Him to. (I John 1:9)

And what’s this all got to do with the death of my uncle?
I believe that God loves my uncle so much that in one way or another He used people (my Lolo and Lola, my aunties and uncles, and others) to experience this love, even just for a while.

Now as I wipe the tears from my swollen, puffy eyes, I keep in mind that God truly loves my uncle, that’s why He shortened the suffering my uncle is going through. I will stop crying and start thanking God that despite the sadness of what the situation brings, God knows the best in everything and He loves us. That’s what I believe and I will hold on to that promise. Because of all the promises that are made in this world, only God’s promise is never and cannot be broken.

Uncle Dodong, when I go back to our place there in Villarica, Midsayap, North Cotabato, I won’t be seeing you anymore… I won’t be seeing your balding head, nor your wide shiny forehead (although we all have that in our family). We would not be able to spend time with you in the old house anymore. I won’t be seeing your goofy smile welcoming me when I arrive there.. However, rest assured, I will always remember you. You may think that you never taught me anything, but you did. You taught me how to love our family, despite all the conflicts and problems. No matter how many of these problems may arise, the truth remains that WE ARE A FAMILY. And a family should help and stick up for each and not against each other. So thank you so much dearest uncle. I hope and pray that all of us have really learned this from you…

I love you, will always love you, even beyond death.

See you soon.